Tuesday, February 2, 2016

No pain, No gain

"Ache Din Aanewale hai", he said and people believed. Everybody wants a feel good factor in life. You and I,everyone under the sun wants to live a risk free, carefree, happy and a much easier life. When we were kids our happiness was no homework or no parents at home to bother you for studies. As we grew up, in teenage we wanted to fall in love, get admission into engineering/medical colleges etc.. In early phase of your career, everybody wants to be in relationship, have amazing sex,look perfect and make money and be popular and well respected and admired by everyone. Everyone would like that — it’s easy to like that.


One day, my senior asked me "What do you want from life?". I told him "I want to be happy, have a great job and enjoy life to the fullest". And he replied "Do you really think that you are gonna get all of this so easily?" Sounded so ubiquitous that it didn't even mean anything later on. I started thinking the opposite way? And that statement of my friend wasn't a disappointing one, but thought provoking. I asked myself: What is it that I want in life? If I think I am ambitious, am I willing to struggle to achieve them? What amount of pain can I suffer and let go to get to that level in life, where people will call me a successful guy? I did not have clear answers to any of them.


Everybody wants to have an amazing job and financial independence — but not everyone wants to suffer through 60-hour work weeks, long commutes, obnoxious paperwork, to navigate arbitrary corporate hierarchies and the dull confines of our chaotic conurbations. We want to be rich without the risk, without the sacrifice, without the delayed gratification necessary to accumulate wealth and so do I.


Everybody wants to have an awesome relationship — but not everyone is willing to go through the tough conversations, the awkward silences, the hurt feelings and the emotional psychodrama to get there. And so they settle. They settle and wonder “What if?” for years and years and until the question morphs from “What if?” into “Was that it?” Because happiness requires struggle.


If you want an amazing physique like Hritik Roshan. You will have to appreciate the pain and physical stress that comes with living inside a gym for hour upon hour, calculate and calibrate the food you eat, plan your life out in tiny plate-sized portions.


If you want to start your own business or become financially independent learn to appreciate the risk, the uncertainty, the repeated failures, and work tirelessly on something you have no idea whether will be successful or not.


Anybody who has studied human behaviour will understand that our needs are more or less similar. Positive experience is easy to handle. It’s negative experience that we all struggle with. Therefore, what we get out of life is not determined by the good feelings we desire but by what bad feelings we go through and the ability to sustain to get us to those good feelings.


People want a partner, a spouse. But you don’t end up attracting someone amazing without appreciating the emotional turbulence that comes with weathering rejections, building the sexual tension that never gets released, and staring blankly at a phone that never rings. It’s part of the game of love. You can’t win if you don’t play.


What determines your success isn't “What do you want to enjoy?” The question is, “What pain do you want to sustain?” The quality of your life is not determined by the quality of your positive experiences but the quality of your negative experiences and the lessons learnt from these experiences.To get good at dealing with negative experiences is to get good at dealing with life.


If you want the benefits of something in life, you have to also want the costs. If you want the beach body, you have to want the sweat, the soreness, the early mornings. If you want the yacht, you have to also want the late nights, the risky business moves, and the possibility of pissing off a person or ten thousand.


If you find yourself wanting something month after month, year after year, yet nothing happens and you never come any closer to it, then maybe what you actually want is a fantasy, an idealization, an image and a false promise. Maybe what you want isn't what you want, you just enjoy wanting. Maybe you don’t actually want it at all. But the truth is far less interesting than that: I thought I wanted something, but it turns out I didn’t. End of story and you realize "I wanted the reward and not the struggle. I wanted the result and not the process. I was in love not with the fight but only the victory".


Who you are is defined by the values you are willing to struggle for. People who enjoy the struggles of a gym are the ones who get in good shape. People who enjoy long work weeks and the politics of the corporate ladder are the ones who move up it. People who enjoy the stresses and uncertainty of the starving artist lifestyle are ultimately the ones who live it and make it.


As I keep saying "Pain is better than orgasm".Be ready to live a life full of pains(in the context of your hard work) which are worth the successes they offer.

No comments:

Post a Comment