Emotions

Its funny how our emotions play with us. Yes, they do. Coz one thing is for sure that we don’t control them. Rather, they are the ones who govern us, more importantly our moods. They kind of embody a subtle form of our being who speaks the same way we do and can be heard only by us. They are like a constant background score of our conscious life. I don’t remember a single moment of my life where there was no on going commentary of my other self in my mind, either paraphrasing or narrating the on going events. Sometimes that other self might multiply. It can morph into those small devil and angel that appear at the side of one’s head in the cartoon movies. Both fighting and suggesting different ideas to the poor mortal human, who can’t help but listen to them. They appear just like that. Poof! Especially when you are contemplating some issue, which might be as small as choosing between coffee and tea or as big as considering to different carrier options. They are just like an undetachable part of our existence. 

People claim there is only one way to control these noises, meditation. Meditation! I I’ve tried it once. But it becomes rather more difficult for me. These voices literally begin to chit-chat with each other, completely ignoring my presence! Who gives them such energy to go on and on. They don’t seem to be mortal to me. They simply remain an unknown, unnamed part of me. When I am hungry, they are hungrier, tempting me to take just anything edible that I see first. When I am bored sitting in a meeting, they are even more jaded, trying to pull me out of the meeting room. When I am scared, they are scared as hell. Constantly prompting me to check behind the curtains, beneath the bed.

In the end, they are a constant companion. They don’t leave us alone like people do. They are with us through thick and thin. I do admit that I am grateful they don’t leave me feeling lonely at times I need someone the most. Though they might not always help in placating my worries or anything, but they do stick around. Thank you… me!!